Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
