Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
