Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
