she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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