then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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