get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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