Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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