erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
