Where is the hickey?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
