I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
