my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
