I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
