I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
