okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
