I got chris browned last night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
