i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
