Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
