i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize