There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
