Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
