I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
