I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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