we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
