We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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