Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Vodka?
Forever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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