the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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