I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
