She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
