I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
