I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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