Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
