i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
