Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
