Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
