hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
