im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
