I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
