we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
