ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
