You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
