Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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