Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
