Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
