Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
