So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
