I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
