I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize