I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Buhtt sex?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
