He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
