Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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