Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize