You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize