I've blown a few things in my day
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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