I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
