I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize