forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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