dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i think i just lost a toe
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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