U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
