So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Green mimosas i think yes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
