just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
