it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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