Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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