hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
