I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
