Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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