Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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