...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
